Chapter 3
“…Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready
for the big moments…”
Faith, her enemy, sister slayer, Faith who stole her body and slept with
Riley, Faith who tried to kill her Angel and everything consider good in
her and others, Faith of all wrongs and bad.
“…No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does…”
She’s here, in Sunnydale, Buffy waited so long for this moment, to face her
again and win. Make her face reality, the people who’s lives she hurt and
destroyed.
She was so wrapped up in her anger that she failed to see who actually “stood”
before her. It was Faith all right; the same black- raven hair, the same
tall - craved body but something was very wrong, she looked deferent, scared?
Confused? Was she crying?
Letting her anger go she focused on the girl kneeling beside her, trembling,
mumbling, she gathered all her slayer’s senses to understand what laid before
her. This girl needed her for some reason, Buffy was looking for the word
circling in her mind until it crushed her ; Faith looked helpless
So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are
gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that
counts. That's when you find out who you are…”
Faith looked at her as if she didn’t know who she was, her hair was a mess
of dirt and loose strands that resembled a once pretty soft hair. She shivered
in the light evening breeze.
“Faith?” Buffy managed to whisper, finally, disbelieving.
Faith turned from her in fear, her face was covered with scratches and burses
and looked swallow.
“Faith, what’s wrong?” Buffy was scared by now, what was wrong with her “
Do you know who I am?” Faith just stared blankly at her, moving back and
forth, just mumbling.
“Faith, what’s wrong, damn it. Is this kind of a new game you play?” although
Buffy didn’t believe for a minute that it was a game, she had to snap her
out of whatever gotten her into this catatonia.
Before she could pursue further, a vampire jumped behind Buffy, she struggled
with him while another came and attacked Faith. She screamed and tried to
fight him but he was too strong for her.
He grabbed her and bit her on the neck.
“Buffy!!!” she finally screamed..
“Faith!” Buffy dusted the first one and then the other while trying to fight
the two ones left she was afraid she won’t make it in time to save Faith.
She will not loose her like that, not again!
Faith was shacking involuntarily, clinching to Buffy. “Help me please”.
Buffy helped her up without thinking why the girl couldn’t protect herself
and they walked to Buffy’s house. Dawn wasn’t there she wanted to spend the
night at her friend. After Faith took a bath and wore one of Buffy’s sushi
pajamas she set on the couch while Buffy attended to her wounds. Faith was
very quiet. Buffy didn’t know how to react to that, she looked so helpless,
what happened?
“Faith, we have to talk…” Buffy reached a hand to touch her, gently on the
shoulder.
“I can’t…” Faith’s voice cracked “I can’t”. She tried to get up and leave.
Buffy tried to stop her from leaving. She didn’t want to help her but she
did anyway.
“It’s o.k,” sighed Buffy. She reluctantly left Faith with her thoughts until
finally she fell a slip on the couch and buffy was next to her, whenever
she tried to leave Faith was shacking and subbing so eventually Buffy stayed
there.
A scream woke her up in the middle of the night. She got up quickly and couldn’t
find Faith next to her.
The scream, she remembered. Gasping and moving fast Buffy found her
in the kitchen just after she cut her wriest, blood dripping on the creamy
floor
“Ho my god Faith, what have you done?” Buffy ran to her quickly and held
the blood as she heard someone at the door.
“Don’t move!” she went to the door to find Spike.
“Not now” she snapped, he followed her after she left him at the door.
“Look here pet I wanted to…” then he saw Faith. “What?”
“This is Faith.”
Spike smiled and began to say something irritatingly Spikish but then
he saw the blood dripping “a slayer ha!?” before he could say a stupid remark
Buffy stopped him “If you are not here to help then leave, I can’t do it
like that and she needs me.”
Spike didn’t answer; he just helped buffy with the hand. After a while Buffy
left Faith, tired sleeping in her room.
“O.k she fell a slip finally” Buffy sighed and fell on the couch next to
him.
“What’s wrong with her Luv?”
“I don’t know, and AGAIN- don’t call me Luv. You say that to all yr. Girls.”
“So are you my girl?” he looked at her expecting, his fabulous smile lighting
his face, she so wanted to touch his face or possibly jump right on him.
Down girl, she snapped at her own dark thoughts ,then she remembered the
girl he danced with at the Bronze and she felt a twinge in her heart.
“I am not your girl Spike and why did you came anyway? What are you
doing here in the middle of the night? You know what? I don’t care, just
leave me alone.” She didn’t know how to handle Faith and the least Spike.
Spike was a bit offended “I want to help you Buffy, really. What happened
to her? She is still a slayer right?”
Buffy considered for a minute a smart remark but then figured no, she was
tired and confused. “I think so, I mean a slayer, it’s strange though. It
looks like she lost her slayer strength, is it even possible?”
“I don’t know Lu… ea Buffy. Actually there was this cute slayer, back
in the thirties her blood tasted like chocolate who couldn’t fight me and..”
he saw the ewe look Buffy gave him and changed the subject “ but she was
drunk and that’s probably why she didn’t fight back when i…well anyway, Did
you tell the others?”
She looked at him angry “I think they’ve heard enough “ she was referring
to the sex revile, of curse.
“I won’t say I am sorry for what I did Buffy.”
“Ho really? And what about Dawnni? Do you even care about that?”
Spike was silent there, the first time speechless. He liked the little bit-
liked her a lot. But that was irrelevant, he wouldn’t live a lie. Whether
she wanted him or just his body ,she has to deal with her scobies, so goes
for her sister.
“Look here luv, I am sorry that little bit had to hear it but she’s almost
sixteen and she’s not stupid.”
“I am not saying she’s stupid Spike but reviling to your sister that you
are sleeping with a blood sucking demon is something else.”
“Whatever…” he mumbled.
Buffy glared at him, full slayer wrath “What’s that suppose to mean?”
He just shrugged his shoulders “Du’no what you’re talking about luv.”
“Yes you do Spike. If you have something to tell me then say it now or get
the hell out of my life!”
“Fine “he snapped back “How about you are lying to yourself? “ He continued,
imitating her as she blushed “Ho no, He doesn’t have a soul, he is a blood
sucking demon who only wants to fuck me senseless. He is bad, a thing…”
“Shut up” she shouted, not really caring that Faith or the neighbors might
here them. She slapped him hard on the face.
He turned into game face and jumped on her, his hands holding her arms just
above her head, his full weight covering her, preventing her from moving.
“Get off of me.” She gasped, heavily.
“You will listen to me, little girl”. A shiver went through her as she remembered
who used to call her that Angelus. Spike regret saying that and softened
his grip.
“If lie is how you want to live in the short life you will have then fine,
go a head but do remember that I don’t. You came to me. You crossed the line
and now you are pissed of at yourself, truth is you can’t accept yourself
as a grown up with needs and desires. You want to stay the good angel for
your Angel well news flash for you. He left you, again. I, on the other hand
here. I don’t need sister Teresa, that was peaches fantasy wife. Not mine.
I want my women passionate and real. I am sorry for you Buffy. I am sorry
that Angel , Riley or some bloody else ruined you for others, I am sorry
that a girl like you has to leave according to others standards and expectations
and not her own. I am sorry that your mother died and left you and little
bit to take care of your own and I am sorry for letting you EVER touch me.”
With that he let her go. He was ready to be knocked down to the floor by
a very pissed of slayer who was just pinned roughly by her angry lover-demon.
But there wasn’t, when he had the courage to look he saw Buffy hurt and broken,
as if each word wounded her more then any fight she participated. Her sun-
tanned chicks were wet with her own salted - bitter tears. Big fat tears
falling on her chicks, then she covered her face with her own hands and sobbed
brokenly. She didn’t care that he was there, maybe laughing at her, disappoint
by her weakens. She even waited for his arrogant remarks but non came.
All the sudden she found herself pulled against a cold chest and strong arms
embracing her, as if trying to comfort- protect her.
She cried for hours until there was nothing else to cry for. She felt good
and protected, although it was Spike. Right now she felt as if she were with
a friend. She needed a friend now and for some reason, Spike realize that.
When she finally relaxed she let herself drift apart from him and excused
herself for the bathroom. She returned half an hour later to find Spike smiling.
“I…” she began saying but Spike stopped her.
“Don’t say anything Buffy. I am sorry. Look, you had a long day and now Faith,
by the way, When did you find her?” .he changed the subject again and Buffy
softened.
” tonight actually, she was hiding behind a grave. A vampire tried to
bite her and she screamed, she couldn’t even fight him. It wasn’t like
the first time we’ve met where she saw her watcher die, this time she was
powerless like something took her power. Maybe some kind of a demon? I think
I will search the library in the magic box tomorrow.”
“On Sunday?”
“That’s the main idea- I don’t want anyone to know she’s here, yet.”
“She wasn’t the quite popular was she?”
Buffy remembered in mixed emotions “no she wasn’t but she asked of me to
trust her ones and I refused, this time I can’t turn my back on her. Tired
now ,Spike- you go!” she tried to lighten the tension that belt between them
after the emotional climax and Spike returned a favor.
“Hell I am, and leave you with this nutcase?”
Buffy raced an eyebrow.
“It was worth a shut though, “ exclaimed Spike.
After Spike has left Buffy return to sleep. She didn’t want to think about
what happened between her and Spike Faith was more important and she never
in her slayer life had time to think only of her problems, it was always
someone else involved who needed her help.
In the morning she made breakfast for her and Faith. Faith came to the kitchen
very quiet and set in front of her.
“Hi there, “ smiled Buffy “how did you sleep?”
She looked at her and didn’t answer to that. “Can I take juice?”
Buffy got up quickly and purred her some juice.
“How’s your hand?”
She didn’t answer that.
“Where is…Dawn?” Faith knew about Buffy’s mum, and her memories involved
Dawn as well.
“She’s with her friend. Faith- I want to go to Giles books to search … see
about ah…you”
“No need.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know what happened to me, I think.”
“So… so do you want, I mean can you”
Faith interrupted her “I … need time.” She needed more than that; she wanted
to trust Buffy again.
As if reading her mind Buffy said “you can trust me Faith.” Buffy put a comforting
hand on Faith.
Faith moved uncomfortably “I better go” that was the Faith Buffy knew.
“You can’t run Faith, you lost your Powers right?”
Faith didn’t answer to that she stood and glared with her deep Browne eyes
but it wasn’t Faith’s frisky smile, it was the look of someone who’s been
through so much, older then the girl Faith was.
Buffy begged with her eyes “Please Faith, you can tell me.”
She intended to leave “Look B, thanks for yr. Help you are a real friend
and all.”
“Stop it Faith!” Buffy stopped her physically. Understanding that it was
still vulnerable Faith, more then ever, Faith who wouldn’t let anyone touch
or love her. “I will not let you go, you need help and if you will not help
yourself then I will.”
Faith tried to push her away but Buffy was stronger. “Is all five by five,
ah Faith? Do you feel slayer like?. What happened?”
Faith went outside and Buffy followed her, she caught her and as Faith turned
around she saw the tears in her eyes. She never saw her cry and it frightened
her a bit
“I made a big mistake B and now… I am being punished.”
Buffy’s heart was biting fast. “Tell Me,” she demanded.
To be continue
Author’s note: The quote from the beginning of this chapter was taken from
BTVS “Becoming- part1” Whistler.
